Seriously? £25 for some spangly jacket doing an impression of crumpled tin foil? Has Cheryl Cole worn it recently, is that why you bought it? It was on sale? Well, hoo fucking ray, you bagged a bargain. You’ve won! You haven’t been duped by celebrity lifestyle obsession magazines and cynical sales tactics one bit. No, YOU conned THE M! You were able to buy that jacket for LESS than it was worth last week. Woop! It’s not like it was already worth a lot less than the ‘sale’ price when they brought it in from the sweatshop, it’s not like they put the price up stupidly high to get your salivating and then knocked it down to get you to open your purse. It’s not like they gouge a profit out of you while the people that make the stuff live in actual faeces. No, you have had a resounding victory in the name of fashion and bargain-hunters everywhere! Halle-fucking-julah, god bless Kate Moss!
Got about 4 hours sleep last night so mainlining caffeine this morning (is there a connection? I don’t know; I’m not Sherlock Holmes or Rosemary and Thyme for fuck’s sake!). Just getting a slight tremor with jitteriness so will have to lay off the café for a bit. Gonna start looking like Gollum on a space hopper.
Plus it makes me even more irritable, especially with the kind of arrogant fucknuts I have to talk to here. Last call was from a guy who thought just giving his address was enough to ID him and satisfy data protection law as well as our own security needs. He was an ‘ex solicitor’ (yes, he did say that) so he had a very dismissive and arrogant air about him, basically threatening to do ‘nothing at all’ to help speed up the claim and letting it get to the stage where one of the other policy holders was bound to complain. Rather than say, OBTAIN SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE POLICY YOU FUCKING OWN SO WE CAN PASS DPA QUESTIONS AND HELP YOU, you’d rather just be a twat and act like we’re being unreasonable for following sensible practices and adhering to data protection law. He may be right of course, because he shouldn’t have to actually KNOW anything about this policy that has his name on it, nor should he have to ‘spend time and money’ on a stamp AND an envelope to write to us for an answer to his queries if he can’t be ID’d on the phone. I bet he walks into banks without a card or paying-in book and just says ‘Look, you know who I am, I come in all the time, just give me my money ok?’ If not, then why does he feel he can be such a complete arse with me when the rules regarding data protection and paying the parties entitled to any funds ARE THE SAME ACROSS THE WHOLE OF THE FINANCE INDUSTRY!!! Heard of the FSA? Wanker!!!
Seriously, Mr ‘Ex Solicitor’, I hope you get hit by a bus or pecked to death by mutant pigeons very soon. One less utter cunt in the world and the remaining policyholders might just be able to claim their money without you holding things up.
Fuck, I need some coffee.
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