I have literally nothing to say.
But as is the tradition of the world wide web, I'm saying nothing openly on a web site for anyone to see. Not as cuntish as Twitter, but much the same principle.
'Anything to add Nick?'...Nope.
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
iMoan, Mismanagement and other random observations while at work (2)
Seriously? £25 for some spangly jacket doing an impression of crumpled tin foil? Has Cheryl Cole worn it recently, is that why you bought it? It was on sale? Well, hoo fucking ray, you bagged a bargain. You’ve won! You haven’t been duped by celebrity lifestyle obsession magazines and cynical sales tactics one bit. No, YOU conned THE M! You were able to buy that jacket for LESS than it was worth last week. Woop! It’s not like it was already worth a lot less than the ‘sale’ price when they brought it in from the sweatshop, it’s not like they put the price up stupidly high to get your salivating and then knocked it down to get you to open your purse. It’s not like they gouge a profit out of you while the people that make the stuff live in actual faeces. No, you have had a resounding victory in the name of fashion and bargain-hunters everywhere! Halle-fucking-julah, god bless Kate Moss!
Got about 4 hours sleep last night so mainlining caffeine this morning (is there a connection? I don’t know; I’m not Sherlock Holmes or Rosemary and Thyme for fuck’s sake!). Just getting a slight tremor with jitteriness so will have to lay off the café for a bit. Gonna start looking like Gollum on a space hopper.
Plus it makes me even more irritable, especially with the kind of arrogant fucknuts I have to talk to here. Last call was from a guy who thought just giving his address was enough to ID him and satisfy data protection law as well as our own security needs. He was an ‘ex solicitor’ (yes, he did say that) so he had a very dismissive and arrogant air about him, basically threatening to do ‘nothing at all’ to help speed up the claim and letting it get to the stage where one of the other policy holders was bound to complain. Rather than say, OBTAIN SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE POLICY YOU FUCKING OWN SO WE CAN PASS DPA QUESTIONS AND HELP YOU, you’d rather just be a twat and act like we’re being unreasonable for following sensible practices and adhering to data protection law. He may be right of course, because he shouldn’t have to actually KNOW anything about this policy that has his name on it, nor should he have to ‘spend time and money’ on a stamp AND an envelope to write to us for an answer to his queries if he can’t be ID’d on the phone. I bet he walks into banks without a card or paying-in book and just says ‘Look, you know who I am, I come in all the time, just give me my money ok?’ If not, then why does he feel he can be such a complete arse with me when the rules regarding data protection and paying the parties entitled to any funds ARE THE SAME ACROSS THE WHOLE OF THE FINANCE INDUSTRY!!! Heard of the FSA? Wanker!!!
Seriously, Mr ‘Ex Solicitor’, I hope you get hit by a bus or pecked to death by mutant pigeons very soon. One less utter cunt in the world and the remaining policyholders might just be able to claim their money without you holding things up.
Fuck, I need some coffee.
Got about 4 hours sleep last night so mainlining caffeine this morning (is there a connection? I don’t know; I’m not Sherlock Holmes or Rosemary and Thyme for fuck’s sake!). Just getting a slight tremor with jitteriness so will have to lay off the café for a bit. Gonna start looking like Gollum on a space hopper.
Plus it makes me even more irritable, especially with the kind of arrogant fucknuts I have to talk to here. Last call was from a guy who thought just giving his address was enough to ID him and satisfy data protection law as well as our own security needs. He was an ‘ex solicitor’ (yes, he did say that) so he had a very dismissive and arrogant air about him, basically threatening to do ‘nothing at all’ to help speed up the claim and letting it get to the stage where one of the other policy holders was bound to complain. Rather than say, OBTAIN SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE POLICY YOU FUCKING OWN SO WE CAN PASS DPA QUESTIONS AND HELP YOU, you’d rather just be a twat and act like we’re being unreasonable for following sensible practices and adhering to data protection law. He may be right of course, because he shouldn’t have to actually KNOW anything about this policy that has his name on it, nor should he have to ‘spend time and money’ on a stamp AND an envelope to write to us for an answer to his queries if he can’t be ID’d on the phone. I bet he walks into banks without a card or paying-in book and just says ‘Look, you know who I am, I come in all the time, just give me my money ok?’ If not, then why does he feel he can be such a complete arse with me when the rules regarding data protection and paying the parties entitled to any funds ARE THE SAME ACROSS THE WHOLE OF THE FINANCE INDUSTRY!!! Heard of the FSA? Wanker!!!
Seriously, Mr ‘Ex Solicitor’, I hope you get hit by a bus or pecked to death by mutant pigeons very soon. One less utter cunt in the world and the remaining policyholders might just be able to claim their money without you holding things up.
Fuck, I need some coffee.
iMoan, Mismanagement and other random observations while at work (1)
You now who I hate? Well, I hate most people but I’ve got a particular group in mind. A bit unfair asking you to think of one group really, doesn’t narrow it down enough. OK, forget it, I’ll tell you. Smarmy cunts with an iPhone, iMac and anything else pre-fixed ‘i’. It used to be that young men, when they felt bored or stressed, would abuse themselves as nature intended; healthy, natural and won’t cause offence so long as it’s done in private. Now they just whip out their hand-held 3G-enabled touch sensitive cock replacements and have a good fiddle with some ‘apps’.
FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUCK! 8 lazy tossers get a half day when they ask for one and the rest of us suffer a hammering and our service level hits a record low…and as a result I don’t get to duck out half an hour early so I can pay money into the bank before it shuts!! FUCK!! Hate this place; it is managed by morons, actual morons. They do the shift rotas by covering their eyes and typing randomly into a spreadsheet, they send people home when we’re ridiculously busy and they spend far too much money on ‘service level’ parties that seem to just be an excuse to see your boss in squeeze into to a hideous spangly dress and get pissed with you like you’re all mates (OMG LOLZ, Facebook pics galore!).
This is has been a busy and loooong day, so long I felt the need to add a lot of extra o’s to the word long, that’s how long it’s been. If that elongated ‘long’ were spoken, it would sound like a moose dying from a shotgun blast to the abdomen being recorded, then played back at half speed. Not that I’ve ever shot a moose, or that a moose (plural meese or mooses?) can speak one English word, even if it’s their last. I know this is bollocks, but as per my previous typed-utterance; it’s been a fucking looooOOoooooOoooooong day!!! Mooooooooose!
FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUCK! 8 lazy tossers get a half day when they ask for one and the rest of us suffer a hammering and our service level hits a record low…and as a result I don’t get to duck out half an hour early so I can pay money into the bank before it shuts!! FUCK!! Hate this place; it is managed by morons, actual morons. They do the shift rotas by covering their eyes and typing randomly into a spreadsheet, they send people home when we’re ridiculously busy and they spend far too much money on ‘service level’ parties that seem to just be an excuse to see your boss in squeeze into to a hideous spangly dress and get pissed with you like you’re all mates (OMG LOLZ, Facebook pics galore!).
This is has been a busy and loooong day, so long I felt the need to add a lot of extra o’s to the word long, that’s how long it’s been. If that elongated ‘long’ were spoken, it would sound like a moose dying from a shotgun blast to the abdomen being recorded, then played back at half speed. Not that I’ve ever shot a moose, or that a moose (plural meese or mooses?) can speak one English word, even if it’s their last. I know this is bollocks, but as per my previous typed-utterance; it’s been a fucking looooOOoooooOoooooong day!!! Mooooooooose!
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